A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
