he wants to bone in the snuggie
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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