if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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