You can't special order awesome
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
