while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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