i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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