I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
