He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
