This girl is more easily done than said...
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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