I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
