for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
