I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Say something about gay babies.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
