You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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