I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
