READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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