remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
