Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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