Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
