I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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