His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
