I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
