how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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