Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
