in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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