I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
