your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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