Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
