I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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