Don't you send me to vm
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
