Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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