I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize