Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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