I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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