listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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