I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
