just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
