are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
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So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
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found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
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