Small penises have feelings too.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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