it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
