Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
