wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
