Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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