That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
