I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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