just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
