And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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