a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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