you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
