Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
