Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
