i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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