I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
