we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
