I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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