you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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