so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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