Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
