So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
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At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize