dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
