This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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