he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Who died my cat blue again?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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