If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
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My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
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Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
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