I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My ass is underappreciated
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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