If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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