I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
