She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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