Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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